March 10, 2011
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I think I have a new tentative plan. Tentative because who knows what God's plan is for me. For a good portion of today I did research on going back to school. Not for graphic design, but for marketing and/or advertising. I think I may seriously be considering it. The only thing is.. it was so discouraging to research once I got to how much it would cost me.
Next, I got to thinking how expensive it is to find a place in Queens. Maybe I'll just look for a place in NJ, but closer to the GWB? I still want to move out and live on my own for a while though. That hasn't changed. I'm also realizing how hard it is going to be to leave my job. I feel like I can't or shouldn't leave unless I have a Bachelor's degree in something so I can at least be getting a job of equal or greater "value" and not settle for something less than what I have now. Not even just salary, but position wise. Been looking at jobs every now and again and it just looks so hard. As much as I hate to admit it, my parents are right. I'd feel more secure if I at least had a Bachelor's degree in something. Also, I always planned on staying at the Salvation Army for at least 5 years and I still need to save up money for a down payment on a place and that will take me a while.
As much as I want to be closer to church, maybe it'll happen if and when I get married. Maybe my future husband will be from NYC. The likelihood is high just cause I don't really know Jersey people anymore. LOL..
I really don't want distance to get in the way of me serving joyfully though. In fact, I wish I could serve more. I want to do more, but I feel like I can't. Driving to Jersey isn't so bad. It's once I pass into Jersey when I start to get sleepy. I think it would help if I lived only minutes away from the GWB.
Ah, I don't know. I feel like either way... if I'm being realistic it will be a while before I move to Queens anyway just because of my current financial situation. After I paid off my car I wasn't thinking about saving up for a house yet. I was just happy to be done with payments. Now I regret not thinking a little ahead so I'm trying to play catch up.
I hate how there's always so much I want to do, but it takes me forever just to eventually do one of those things.
I guess a good thing is I've been spending more time with my parents than usual. Still not a LOT, but I think I'm starting to be more patient with them and wanting to spend time with them instead of hiding in my room all day.
I don't know what's next. I keep researching possibilities of what could come next. Nothing seems tangible right now though. Not sure what I'm supposed to do.
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