May 8, 2011
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I'm prideful in that I can't stand the thought of anyone thinking something bad about me.. even if I don't know the person. Or not thinking good about me. Relative to that somehow... I also think it's why I feel so easily dissed or left out even though I probably have no reason to. The feeling of not being included kills me, or to not be thought of. It makes me sad. I know it shouldn't though. I've been this way since I was little. I've just gotten better at either hiding it and not acting on it, or forcing myself to ignore it or try to be above it and let it go and not take it personally.
Why must I always seek the approval of others? I think sometimes that motivates me more than anything and a lot of times I probably hide it behind doing it because I want to be a "good Christian" or do it for God. So bad..
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