June 2, 2011
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Connie and I were talking the other day... and she asked me if I would be willing to move away from here (NJ/NY) if I was getting married and my fiance lived somewhere else. My first reaction was no and that I'd just look for someone in the area, then my actual answer was yes.. if I fit with the church there. Ever since it's kinda been in the back of my mind.
While I already did my church hopping stint and came to realize I wanted to stay at Newtown... I think down the road I could see myself being at another church. I wanted to stay and watch Newtown grow and evolve. I wanted to be part of it, but down the line... if the right man came along.. with a church I could see myself serving in.. I think I'd be okay. I'd miss Newtown people because they're like family.. but I think I'd be okay. Sometimes parts of me still just wants to move on and start new.
I think sometimes for me I feel like it's a "I love you, but I don't like who I am with you" type situation with Newtown. I don't blame the church itself for me not becoming who I could be, but I blame myself for how comfortable I am here.. hesitant to change too much because it's all I know how to be.
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